Day 4 - Central Bulgaria

Travellers Tips - 'To travel is to discover'. I think I just made that up but in reality someone else must have said it and I just nicked it. In any event, I have discovered today that the fire requires quite a lot of wood to keep it going. In a burst of manliness, I decided to saw wood.

I also discovered today that it only takes about half an hour of sawing wood to feel as manly as one really needs to feel.

Played garden 'Risk' against myself today. Very evenly matched game. I won in the end by making a daring breakout from Siam against myself, sending me reeling back across India and breaking my seemingly unbreakable hold on Africa. Having dealt myself this serious blow, I polished myself off with an amphibious assault on South America. 

High fiving myself for delivering such a stunning victory felt slightly ludicrous. 

The rats (Randy and Ruby) and I need to reach an accommodation. They can have the run of the place, provided they SHUT THE F*CK UP in the wee small hours while I'm here. We're still working on the pre-summit fine detail but they refuse to agree to a cessation of hostilities before peace talks begin. I must have lost my stakeholder management mojo. 

So with a flagrant disregard for the Geneva Convention, the chemical warfare programme has been stepped up, with tasty and deadly rat snacks being left all along the DMZ (skirting board). Lets see how they like them apples. 

We (Gerald and I) have officially stopped negotiating with terrorists. 

Excellent excellent bonfire night last night. Impeccable hosts. Felt very much like home.