New Blog

Before I forget, I'll likely be starting a new blog for the next leg of the journey. The address will be;

neilpenn2.blogspot.co.uk

Day 47 - Vietnam

Before I start, I wanted to point anyone to the second part of my trip neilpenn2.blogspot.com

Jungley, mountainy, 20k trek through Cat Ba National Park today. Very active, pretty and with a healthy portion of rock climbing thrown in to add a bit of peril. All washed down with a 5km cycle ride to the boat. And if I may say, I completed the whole affair with some aplomb. I think I might have dropped a pound or two in weight since beginning the trip and that, plus being on my feet most days rather than sat at a desk eating cake, has probably improved my level of fitness. Which I'm rather enjoying, I must admit.

More tours around a different bay in the afternoon etc. but it's all proper touristy and I won't bore you with small print. A refreshing, drama free day though. 

The hostel is right on the water front and costs an outrageous $7 for private double room with a sea view. 

Oh, and to polish off my occasional series of obscure references from cult movie classics for this holiday; I am happy to confirm, from what I have been able observe at least, Charlie don't surf. 

I think Halong Bay is a good place to close proceedings. I'm going back to Hanoi for a couple of days for some actual rest and pampering before flying back to the UK. I don't expect anything much to happen so I won't try and limp through a couple of pointless posts just for the sake of it. Let's leave Vietnam and the trip as a whole on a high. 

I've enjoyed chronicling the journey more than I thought I would as it happens. If it has been a tolerable read then great. If it has raised the occasional smile, even better. If it has inspired anyone at all to travel more widely and to take on an adventure, then jolly good show. 

I never did find a use for that D-ring.

Welcome to the jungle

Here's the view of Halong Bay from the top of the sixth and final peak climbed today

Here's the $7 view from my room

One last pic of me on the boat today

Day 46 - Vietnam

It's been a funny old day really. Took the bus to Halong Bay. Booked a ticket in a boat, took a glorious tour around the bay and watched the sunset etc. Intended to spend the night on the boat but... My Spanish travelling companion wasn't 100% satisfied with the accommodation and.... Well to cut a long story short, ended up in a hostel on Cat Ba island. The absolute details are unimportant but it was mutually agreed that we wouldn't be catching the same boat back. Our Mediterranean cousins are not afraid of expressing their feelings.

As Top Gear fans may reacall, Halong Bay is a terrifically tranquil place. Normally.

If this isn't the most beautiful place in the world, it'll do until the most beautiful place shows up. 

Day 45 - Vietnam

Update - pics for Day 41 & 42 now added.

I've decided that these last few days aren't really going to reveal anything to anyone other than my holiday snaps and a few personal thoughts. Everybody has been to Vietnam so I'm not going to try and compete with everybody else. I'll just write a few lines in my own way to complete the blog as it were and you can read or not as you choose.

The taxi ride to the hostel was more of a Bond car chase than an airport transfer. Getting fed up of the traffic, my driver mounted the pavement at one point and drove for 3-400m on paving until reluctantly rejoining the road. I kid you not. That was new!

The hostel I'm in isn't too bad actually! In the old quarter, $20 a night private room (dorm was $5), hot shower, free beer in the evening etc. etc. Very pleased!

For the few readers that haven't made it to Hanoi, it is very busy, very vibrant and a very exciting city to visit. Lots of hustle and bustle, lots of fake gear (I bought the obligatory Rolex today) It's a cracking place to finish the trip I think.

From top left to bottom right; 1) Tea break at the local barracks. If they fight as well as they march, I reckon the Americans should have another crack. 2) A flag. 3) Uncle Ho at rest. I got told off for having hands in pockets - it's been a while since that last happened - and then having hands on hips. 4) A Vietnamese junction box. Ease of access won over health and safety.

A classic.

You've really got to know your Oliver Stone to get this....

Somebody once wrote Hell is the impossibility of crossing the road in Hanoi. That's what this place feels like. I hate it already and it's only been a day. Some goddamn day, grandma. The hardest thing I think I've ever done is try and cross when there's a green light. Three times today - I don't even know what I'm doing. A moped could be driving three feet in front of me and I wouldn't know it. I'm so tired. It's scary cause nobody tells me how to do anything cause I'm new and nobody cares about the new guys, they don't even want to know your name. The unwritten rule is a news guy's life isn't worth as much cause he hasn't put his time in yet - and they say if you're gonna get killed in the Nam it's better to get it in the first few hours, the logic being; you don't suffer that much.

Day 42 - Burma (Inle Lake)

Not a great deal happened today in truth, so I won't go on about it. I flew into the Shan (Top Gear watchers may recognise that from a recent special). It'a a big area and I'm in a very touristy bit called Inle Lake.
I got to my rather plush hotel, to find that I'd been given an over-water bungalow to myself. Which I didn't think warranted too much complaining about. Very very peaceful, Very very top end for this part of the world. My back is recovering from having seen few mattresses and more than a couple of hours rest in the last couple of days.

The Burmese internet just isn't man enough to upload pictures, so I'll post text and do pics when I have a decent enough connection. It's a shame though because some of the stuff I was hoping to share is really worth it.

What I did do today was have a traditional Shan full body massage. I was told it would be in the privacy of my bungalow. I must admit, not knowing what a traditional Shan full body massage in my bungalow might involve, I was ever so slightly apprehensive about it. Turns out I have an overactive imagination and it was mostly elbows. It was very nice though! $15 for an hour of elbows can't be bad can it?

I also went for a stroll and a beer in the evening. I asked for a bottle and was given 'Mandalay Beer'. I didn't give it much thought and waaaaaay too late I read the alcohol content on the bottle. 6.5%! (Carling is 4.1%, Stella is 5%) This stuff was drifting towards Spceial Brew territory! I'd already had a tad more than was prudent and it kicked in properly as I left the bar. I don't recall any real detail of the remainder of the evening.

I know this entry is a bit thin but it'll look better with a pic and I've spent most of my allocated blogging time faffing around with unsuccessful picture uploads.

Upadte - Pic of water bungalow

Update - Pic of Shan State in the early morning.

Day 44 - Burma

I was going to let this entry slide. Just not bother writing one today. Like one of the lost Doctor Who episodes, this would just be a lost day. 

I reconsidered however, partly because a missing day would bug the hell out of me and partly because there's some actual information that I can add about Burma. For a change I thought I'd inform and on this occasion, I'll try and make it accurate. That means this will be boring and factual I'm afraid. Anyone not interesting should wait for Day 45 to appear. 

The way to Inle Lake for tourists from Bagan is typically by bus or by plane. I don't know much about the bus but I met a couple that had done it and they said it took about seven hours and they arrived at 3am completely wiped out. If funds are tight, I guess this is the way to go. By air, there are at least four domestic carriers that I found, flying fairly sizeable turbo prop planes. The nearest airport to Inle Lake is Heho, about an hour in a taxi. The ticket cost me something like $100 and I booked online with Air Bagan but actually flew on an Asian Wings aircraft. So I guess they mix it up a bit between themselves depending on what is available at the time of flying. Flight time is about 35 mins and there are no allocated seats, so get on early if you have a preference. Both Bagan and Heho are small airports, so don't expect anything flash. They take your bags and you wait to be called through to the departure lounge - by a guy that is, no boards displaying info or anything like that. Same when it comes to boarding the plane. You wait for a guy to shout.

At the other end, baggage is dumped in a pile and you grab it and go to immigration for a passport scan. There are loads of taxis outside and you need to bargain hard to get a deal. Sharing is best. I got in with five others and my share came to 4000kyat, about four dollars. The driver will ask where your hotel is and drop you. The taxi was a rough and ready jostle in the back of an... open top Land Rover is the easiest comparison. You can pay more for something verging on comfortable if you wish. 

All pretty straighforward.

The town you'll want to be in is Naung Shwe at the northern edge of the lake. Well you can go wherever you like I guess but this is where everyone was headed, me included. Loads of hostels and hotels to suit every budget. Plenty of bars, tour agents, river boat cruises etc. etc. again, you can pay what you want. Get a hostel and pick up a river boat guy on the street for not very much, or let your nice hotel take the strain and dip deeper into your pocket. My hotel was expensive and they got me a day on the lake for $20, the one hour massage was $15 and an airport transfer back to Heho in a decent car was another $20. If you're travelling in company, it gets cheaper of course. A 640ml bottle of beer cost me $1.5-2 depending on where I went. Dinner with rice was $5-6. You can get everything cheaper but I wasn't really counting too much. Food and drink in the hotel was about three times as much but it wasn't what I was after. If you really want European food, there's lots on offer. Italian seemed to be on every menu but I couldn't vouch for its quality. 

I found Bagan, and Mandalay for that matter, much the same in terms of price and what was on offer.

I think that's about it! All very easy. Everything is on tap. You won't need to go searching for stuff, it will come to you. 

Day 43 - Burma (Inle Lake)

Took a long lazy trip across the lake today. My ship of choice, well it was less a ship and more a rotting canoe, was nameless and skippered by someone who's name I also never quite got around to memorising. Anyway, it and he got me there and back. The lake itself is of quite a size but manageable for a day trip. Once the sun burnt through the morning haze, Inle Lake was revealed in all its beauty. Very calm, very peaceful. Only a sizeable amount of tourists to spoil the atmos. This part of Burma has grown into tourism very quickly and the day was basically a tour of handicraft places on and around the lake. Silk and Lotus weaving (much more interesting than it sounds), boat building, cigar making, floating gardens and in each place a gaggle of locals selling tat. I bought a bagful of it. 

And that pretty much ends my tale in Burma. I have to say that it has been a standout part of the trip. I think I've already made that clear. It helps that it's warm and that I've stayed in some fairly nice places overnight but I'd have thought the same if I'd decided to rough it too I think. Well done Burma, you've done a great job. 

Burma is heading for democratic elections next year I understand. I'm not sure what that will do to the place but everyone I've spoken to is optimistic about the future. Tourism is already firmly part of the scenery and I imagine it will be like Vietnam in just a year or two. Shame really. I've found lots of authenticity here, alongside some shameless tourist exploitation. If I were in their place, I guess I'd do the same. 

There's a slim chance I've been able to upload a photo with this. If so, it should look from top left to bottom right; 1) the world famous leg rowing fishermen of Inle Lake. 2) you've gotta make choices in life. Look what necklace indecision has done to this poor lady. 3) Cheroot rolling on the lake. 4) another market, authentic, aromatic, vibrant.  

My vessel in the floating gardens

Day 41 - Burma (Bagan)

Had a cracker today exploring the area. I’m not going to be able to do the place justice in words, so I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves. The only thing I’ll add is that I did find myself exclaiming out loud on several occasions at the spectacle that is Bagan. If anyone is struggling for a place to go on their summer hols next year, look no further.

You know the Burmese really have got this tourism lark sussed very early doors. They’ve plonked all their pretty things all in one vast convenient field. So you don’t have to trot from town to town, looking for them individually. Very clever really. 

I hired an electric bike to get around for 6000 Kyat - about £3.80 for the day. I spent many hours pootling around the area in the sun, wind blowing through what is left of my hair and topping up my burn. No helmet obviously, no leathers, application of the brake was by foot. By that I mean, my foot was the brake. Top whack on an electric bike was probably 100kmph or maybe just a shade under. Hard to tell really. And I only fell off the thing twice (that bit is specifically for my mother and may or may not be true). 

I think I finally understand what Dumpys Rusty Nuts were talking about when they wrote, ‘I’m only happy when I’m riding my hog’. 

Stopped off for a cheeky sweet and sour pork lunch, which was both excellent and extravagant. It set me back a whopping £1.80. 

It's not easy to pull of a Dennis Hopper impression when astride an e-bike but I think you'll agree, I've not done a bad job. Well. Either you've got it or you haven't, right?

Urrghhh! The internet is so slow in Burma it's taken me two days to upload two photos. So this is all you get of Bagan for now. But trust me, It's awesome!!

Update - More pics of Bagan

Day 40 - Burma (Bagan)

I forgot to mention in the last post that everyone below stairs are so deferential to the point of it being embarrassing. They bow their heads and refuse to look you in the eye. It's kinda nice to be treated as special but a bit difficult as it is so subservient. Hey, I'm nothing special. And they are sooooooo polite. Is the lift ok for you sir? Can I carry your tissue for you sir?

Same deity like treatment in the place I went to eat last night. The spicy pork curry with a cold beer was absolutely excellent.

Myanmar beer pictured - Burmese wife beater. Dependable but to be consumed with caution. It catches up on you. 

Oh, and while I'm at it, if a rough bar in Burma, in the rough end of town can have a proper toilet, then the rest of Asia ought to be ashamed of itself. 

Spent the entire day on a boat from Mandalay to Bagan 10 hours in total. No big stories to tell except the inevitable crispy red skin by late afternoon but it was nice to plod lazily along the mighty Irrawaddy river looking out at fishermen, villages and pagodas in the sun. Tea on tap, bread and jam for breakfast. Light rice lunch. Quite the most excellent way to make the journey and well worth the $42 it cost me. 

The only blot on an otherwise splendid day was sitting on my sunglasses after coming back from the loo. I styled it out for 10 minutes before retrieving when no-one was looking. The experience proved to be to the severe detriment of said eyewear. Went wonky for the rest of the day. I'm pretty sure no-one noticed. 

Mandalay to Bagan ferry courtesy of Malikha River Cruises - recommended. Very cool early morning. Caught me out and by late afternoon I was deep fried. 

Day 37 - China (Kunming)

Not a great deal going on today so I thought I'd write a quick review of the hostel and update on some personals;

Health Check;

Shoulder - status 95%

Only in the last day or two has the old shoulder stopped giving me jip. Seems to be nearly there now with just the odd twinge

Foot - status 85%

Still not quite right tbh! I'm still not able to walk for long distances without my big toe telling me there's something up with it. Did about 10 miles yesterday and my foot knew about it. Getting there though I guess. 

Back - status 30%

Broken in seventeen different places from three nights sleeping on a concrete bed. 

Arse - status 100%

Everything as it should be. Details not required. 

Chin - status stubbly

I hate cold, mixed, communal ablutions. Exposing my bare essentials without the prospect of a happy ending is both unnecessary and uncivilised. So have been time efficient by not bothering to shave. Sod it. I'm not doing a photo shoot any time soon. 

Glad Inn - Kunming

Location - 0 prawn balls

There is no reason for a hotel to be here except land is presumably cheap and they can price rooms accordingly. Attracts local custom for the most part, apart from the nice Spanish lady who shared my view in all things.

Facilities - 0 prawn balls

Given that is only a couple of years old, it's a pretty poor show that they have squat toilets really. Beds have no mattress and is like sleeping on concrete.

Staff - 5 prawn balls

Can't fault them at all. Very very helpful and welcoming. 

Food - 3 prawn balls

Not entirely my cup of tea but that's not their fault.

Entertainment - 0 prawn balls

BBQ pit area with obligatory guitar playing traveller, wowing everyone with Chinese rendition of Wonderwall etc. etc. etc. there's simply no need for it. Appalling racket when you're trying to get to sleep on a concrete mattress. 

Overall - 1 prawn ball

Should have stayed in Guilin which was brilliant or allowed enough time to get out and about in Lijiang or Dali. I'm VERY annoyed with myself, plus I'm now knackered through lack of sleep. 

Day 36 - China (Kunming)

It's been a funny old day today. I was feeling a bit more positive about Kunming this morning. I upgraded to a suite(...!) which basically meant same poor standards, private space. I took a look around the bit of town I'm in and had a cuppa. There are bars and restaurants and shops etc. nearby so it's not all bad. I think the frustrating day lost travelling got to me a bit yesterday. There is next to no internet and Facebook, Twitter alongside Google, remain banned technology here, so no contact with the outside world pretty much. 

I then went for an explore in the city centre. I was going to tell the tale in full but it wouldn't really be fair on the party involved so the salient points are these; Green Lake Park was very nice. Foreigner street was vibrant, lunch was fine. My travelling companion then had her Geraldine stolen from her pocket and the balance of the day was spent replacing said phone inbetween tears, ripe language and everything else that goes with having your phone nicked. Several hours later, a new phone was purchased and a degree of order was restored. I felt for her to be honest. I find giving sympathy and 'there there's' isnt a natural gift of mine, so chose to offer silence and a warm smile for the most part. The occasional suggestion that we break the problem down into manageable parts, rather than assume that the world was about to end, seemed reasonably well received, but I stopped short of writing out a gannt chart to make sure nothing was missed. Which was what I really wanted to do. 

She did seem quite grateful for the support actually and I felt I'd done a decent thing - no more than anyone else in similar circumstances though. 

For the record, the Apple shop in Kunming, of which I saw every single inch of several times over this afternoon, seemed very nice too. 

Green Lake Park. That's about as interesting as Kunming gets.

Day 35 - China (Kunming)

Day 35 - Well the honeymoon had to come to an end. In summary, the flight out ifGuilin was cancelled without notice. Something I only discovered when I arrived at the airport. So I had to book onto a different flight, with a different airline later in the day. Then that was delayed by several hours. So got to Kunming late in the evening. Wasted day. 

Some may recall that I had to book my China accommodation in great haste for visa purposes and in the 15 seconds I had to choose a hostel, I picked poorly. I'm in the middle of nowhere again with lots of young people. In a dorm. Urghhhh! And they're not even Brits, or Aussies, or Septics - or even Europeans with a smattering of a language that I can communicate in. They're all non-english speakers. Friendly for the most part, just young (urghhh again) and not great company.

Because I spent an additional night in Guilin, I've also left myself little time to do the big trips in this part of the country. With that and the plane delay, it's a bit of a bust in Kunming, which is a shame as I was looking forward to it enormously. 

Made the best of a bad job and joined the gang for a traditional Chinese hotpot, which was interesting but I'm not a huge fan of boiled things. Everything tends to end up all soft and slimy. And I'm more of a crispy man on the whole. Urghhh again. Still, at least I can look forward to a good nights sleep with my seven Asian companions. And then a squat loo / communal shower in the morning. 

I'm determined not to break cover and book into a hotel this time. Soak it up and I might find a few surprises along the way. I will however see if there's a private room available in the morning. There are none tonight. 

Day 34 - China (Guilin)

Just an average day really. Saw rural China at its most spectacular. Ate some maggots. Got married. Same old same old. 

More ridiculous headgear - it's becoming a theme. The long haired tribe of women and rice terraces of Jinkeng-Dazhai filled most of the day.

From top to bottom; 1) Broadsword calling Danny Boy. 2) Rice. 3) More rice. 

From top left to bottom right; 1) the big reveal, I was rather nervous as you can tell. 2) Me serenading my bride to be (New York, New York was the first song that came into my head weirdly! So I started spreading the news until I forgot the words, which was about three lines in.) 3) Getting boozed up on rice wine during the ceremony itself. Not a bad way of getting through the big day - and don't ask me what my hand was doing in my pocket. 4) Damn woman wouldn't let me go. She seemed anxious to consummate, although the position was new to me. All in all, a busy morning.

Day 33 - China (Guilin)

Here's a shot from the window of where I'm staying in Guilin. It's the peach blossom river I believe. 

And again last night

Wasn't a terrible day all told on the river (Li I think. I'll try and look it up before posting). I've included the, quite literally, money shot. It's a bit unclear but you'll probably get the gist of what is going on if you look at the note carefully. Very possibly one of the most spectacular river journeys in the world IMHO.

Next up, a food and drink montage. The first is part of my first class train snack pack, which included on the right, 'Monkey Munchies'. It remains unopened. The second is the Irish pub I found. There had to be one. Finally, some more stickie goodness. I'm living off them. These were reminiscent of pork but it could have been anything. ......let's imagine for a minute it was pork and move swiftly on. It tasted bloody great whatever it was. 

Lastly, I really have started talking to myself (Gerald is a terrible conversationalist). Oh come on!! I met my fourth English speaking person in five weeks today - not counting the ex-pat night in Almaty and had to restrain myself. She was a Venezuelan with perfect English (American) and I had to leave her after a bit for fear of appearing massively creepy. I was just excited is all. I'm firm in the belief she thought me politely reserved. Actually, I'm doing fine all told but to hear an English voice is becoming very weird and to hear my own voice out loud is kinda therapeutic. I don't think that's toooo odd is it...? Shit. Maybe. 

Day 32 - China (Guilin)

This is a complete piece of piss. China is eminently more recognisable to me than Central Asia was by far. Hotels look like hotels, taxis look like taxis, you change money in a bank rather than find a guy on the street, there are schedules that are designed to be met, boards with information on them, etc. etc. I don't understand the language but the broad reference points are very familiar by comparison.

Tourism comes to you, you don't have to go and find it. Pay a fella some money and you get to see and do wonderful things. It's different. I guess there are two kinds of travelling going on here. I won't try and explain any more than that but it's a different feel to the trip, here at least. I wouldn't like to say what kind is better, it depends what you're after but it's a hell of a lot easier, that's for sure. 

Caught the bullet train from Wuhan to Guilin. Now these people know how to do first class. All went without a single hitch and arrived exactly on time. No stress, no fuss, helpful smiley people. Nuff said.

Guilin is super super cool by the way. I arrived as it started hooning it down and went out for an explore in the evening. I'm basically in Bladerunner. I'm sure I saw a thermal bloom coming off what must be the Tyrell Corporation HQ off in the distance. 

Travellers Fact: Mopeds still rule supreme on the roads of Guilin. And the pavements. Much like the obesycles back in the UK, they're used as a lawless pedestrian battering ram. The only difference being, that the mopeds are mostly driven by tiny old ladies over here. They are however driven with the same lack of care for machine, absence of space awareness and regard for other human beings. If I don't get mown down by one of them in the next couple of days I'll be amazed. 

Travellers Question: Do androids dream of electric sleep?

Answer: Google it - I can't.

Spot the skin-job.

Late night munchies. Quite literally, 'something' on a stick. 

Day 31 - China (Wuhan)

So a bit of housekeeping up front. To all my loyal readers, apologies for the delay in getting the China blogs published. The Chinese government and Google have had a bit if a row and now Google is banned in China. That includes my Google owned blog software, hence the delay.

I've done the, 'adventure' leg and am now on to the 'tourist' leg. I've found plenty to write about so far on the whole but the touristy bits might not provide the right material for daily updates. We'll see. At the moment, I'm considering wrapping a couple of days into a single post ongoing but will play it by ear a bit.

Anyway, it's been a long haul into Wuhan;

Taxi to airport

Flight from Almaty to Urmqui

7 hour layover in an empty airport before connecting to Wuhan

Bus to Wuhan Railway station 

Walk to hotel

24 hrs in total with a couple hours of snatched snoozing along the way. 

The hotel informed me that I'd booked a room on an hourly rate (despite my records quite clearly stating not) and couldn't understand why, if I'd only booked for 4 hours, I wasn't checking in with some company. Apparently that's unusual. It's that sort of place. Hey-ho, I rashly splashed out on an entire overnight stay and maybe I'll get lucky later. 

Now I think about it, the swish hotel in Almaty didn't let me put my bag down before asking if I wanted some girls arranged. I obviously have that kind of look about me. Best not overthink that. For the record, and in particular my mother, I have declined in each case. I encourage no further comment on the subject. 

There is absolutely nothing to say about Wuhan. I'm here for the train to Guilin. Bought my ticket for tomorrow with less fuss than anticipated. Well I bought a ticket to somewhere at least. The only thing of note is that it is blistering here. It's got to be +10 outside. I'm thinking about getting my legs out. 

Reception decided not to take any chances in the end...